6 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me Before I Got Married

About a year ago, an amazing man proposed to me and I said yes! What followed after was a whirlwind of planning, logistics, and politics I was not fully prepared for. This is an open letter for all brides to hear what no one tells you when you plan your wedding.

My dear girl, 

This handful of months is going to be the most fun (and possibly the most stressful) time in your whole lives. But it'll only be stressful if you let it, Here are somethings i learned from my big day:  

1. EVERYONE will have their own opinion. it's going to happen. You may take it, you may not.'Not everyone is gong to be completely happy with how you plan YOUR wedding. But that's what it is, YOUR wedding. 

2. At the end of the day, the wedding is about you and your love celebrating your life together and starting a brand new chapter. It's not the "perfect party", it's a heartfelt celebration. People will try to stress you out. (seriously, it's weird but they're all: "why are you so calm? what it THIS happens?") At the end of the day, people, it's about you and him! NOT ABOUT THEM! so tell them to hushhhhh!  

3. Things are a lot more expensive if you say wedding (like double, or more) cause they know if you HAVE to have this photographer, caterer. DJ etc. you'll pay whatever... if it's an "event", they know you're more likely to shop around. say event, and you'll see a price cut. 

4. and this is amazing.... people will come out of the WOODWORK. weddings are huge, social things. It's a social status booster to be like, "i was totally invited to this really expensive, super exclusive party!" and people will treat it that way, too. You'll get friend requests from people you haven't hung out with since high school, people will treat you like royalty, volunteer their time, ask CONSTANTLY how wedding planning is going so that you might think of them when you're handing out those coveted envelopes. There are of course, the people who wish you well and want nothing in return for their time and love, but i'm sure you can tell what kind of people the first ones are. Some people joke, but others unashamedly ask in public, on social media, in front of others on the phone, in texts... and when it's sure you've already sent them out... like 3-4 weeks from the wedding, you'll get inundated with messages from people who are sure their invite got lost in the mail. You'll have to suck it up a little and probably invite a few, but don't break the bank! if you truly forgot someone you can't imagine the big day without, talk it over with each other and decide to invite them. If it was someone who didn't make the list at all, don't add to your stress.

5. Speaking of the list.... it is BY FAR the hardest thing you'll ever do in your entire life. it's OK to cry. My love and I went over ours a couple dozen times! we were at 700 (we both have HUGE families), no kids cut it down to 500, and no plus ones cut it down to 400... and then we still had to cut from there. Family members, good friends, cut cut cut. it is literally the most emotional, heartbreaking thing you will ever do. 

6. Emotional things can also be good. Attaching emotion is hands down the best way to remember anything.Take a "Mental Snapshot" by intentionally remembering everything about that moment. As you're doing all this prep, take a second to look around.what is he wearing? what are you wearing? what music is playing? the actual wedding day will fly by. stop and take a moment and that memory will last a lifetime.

I am so excited for you! Being my love's wife is such a joy, and I'm learning more about him, and more about myself everyday. The wedding is not the end game my dears; it is simply the celebration at the beginning of the journey.